‘RE - Marriage And Why Most Nigerian Men Run Away From It’
I dont know how to break this to the men folk but there is a little problem!
Women are no longer keeping quiet oh..Anytime a man writes anything that touches nerves we get a rejoinder on this blog...I LOVE IT!
1. - Plenty wife materials, open your eyes
The phrase 'no wife material' is an insult to all the single women in Nigeria. Most men will walk past the ‘wife materials’ and go the artificial bum and fake half caste ladies and yet scream ‘there are no wife materials. I cannot count the number of women who are of marriageable age and are GOOD wife materials who are still very much single. What are the attributes that’s qualifies a woman to be a wife material???
2. - Sex
Interestingly, most women are still single because they have refused to give in to sex before marriage. Again I ask, ‘what do these men really want??? You don’t give in, they walk away and call you old fashioned and all sorts, you give in, and they use and still dump you. You want a virgin, yet you have taken the virginity of many women. Who will marry those ones whose hymen you have broken?
3 - Class of Wedding
Is there any regulatory body that enforces anyone to have an elaborate or expensive wedding? Does the size or class of a wedding determine its success? It’s up to the man and the woman to check their pocket and decide on how they want their wedding to be, no one will flog you, people will only talk but so long as you are happy with your spouse, them go tire. You can have all 3 weddings and not spend so much, your call and choice. Who says the woman cannot contribute/help the man financially?
4 - Fear of ‘working class’ women
I have heard a lot of men say ‘I am afraid of all these working class ladies o, they are too expensive and may not be submissive, they have tasted life etc. some wont dare to date a lady who owns a car (lol). Countless number of working class ladies are still single, so what do they want to say in their (men) defense? Instead of looking for inner attributes, some look for ways to siphon money from these working class ladies and marry fresh graduate and others.
5 - Can you eat your cake and have it? Marriage is not bondage!
This just makes it look like marriage is bondage! Well, that is left for the men to overcome. A woman has no blame here. You cannot eat your cake and have it, of course when you get married, your wife will want to know where you are or why you are home late (I do not advise/encourage nagging while at it though). if you have to hang out/go out, by all means but do so with respect to your wife.
6. Career life n lies associated with it.
Marriage is all about making sacrifices, no sane women will want her hubby to lose his job, but he can be considerate enough to reduce the long hours at work when there is no tight schedule and remember that he now has a wife at home.
Make una talk true sha, is it really long hours in the office or time out with the boys etc…..?
7. Inlaw's expectation and traditional rites
This can be managed, just let them know your budget and plead with them, I am sure no parent want their child to remain unmarried.
8. Can you be trusted too?
Everyone one way or another has had a bad experience, some almost lost their lives in the process, but still find love. You cannot be heartbroken forever. Do you trust yourself to be faithful to your wife? If yes, then trust your instinct to lead you to a faithful woman. Trust me when I say women have had it worse in this regard.
9. Will you allow people's experience stop you?
What about the good marriage testimonies? People have died in plane crashes, does it stop people from flying? (don't mean to sound insensitive) Trust God, do your best, be real and truthful to your spouse and I am sure everything will work out for your good. Most men are afraid to trust because they can't imagine their wives doing what they do.
10. Does tribe matter? Is it a factor?
A personal decision whether to marry within your culture or outside, but I still don’t see how that is a problem or why it should make men run away from marriage.
Unemployment is an evil both men and woman face, it’s not one sided. For what its worth, men should really stop all this women are not wife material talk especially when they are not husband material.