‘RE - Marriage And Why Most Nigerian Men Run Away From It’
I dont know how to break this to the men folk but there is a little problem!
Women are no longer
keeping quiet oh..Anytime a man writes anything that touches nerves we
get a rejoinder on this blog...I LOVE IT!
1. - Plenty wife materials, open your eyes
The
phrase 'no wife material' is an insult to all the single women in
Nigeria. Most men will walk past the ‘wife materials’ and go the
artificial bum and fake half caste ladies and yet scream ‘there are no
wife materials. I cannot count the number of women who are of
marriageable age and are GOOD wife materials who are still very much
single. What are the attributes that’s qualifies a woman to be a wife
material???
2. - Sex
Interestingly,
most women are still single because they have refused to give in to sex
before marriage. Again I ask, ‘what do these men really want??? You
don’t give in, they walk away and call you old fashioned and all sorts,
you give in, and they use and still dump you. You want a virgin, yet you
have taken the virginity of many women. Who will marry those ones whose
hymen you have broken?
3 - Class of Wedding
Is
there any regulatory body that enforces anyone to have an elaborate or
expensive wedding? Does the size or class of a wedding determine its
success? It’s up to the man and the woman to check their pocket and
decide on how they want their wedding to be, no one will flog you,
people will only talk but so long as you are happy with your spouse,
them go tire. You can have all 3 weddings and not spend so much, your
call and choice. Who says the woman cannot contribute/help the man
financially?
4 - Fear of ‘working class’ women
I have
heard a lot of men say ‘I am afraid of all these working class ladies o,
they are too expensive and may not be submissive, they have tasted life
etc. some wont dare to date a lady who owns a car (lol). Countless
number of working class ladies are still single, so what do they want to
say in their (men) defense? Instead of looking for inner attributes,
some look for ways to siphon money from these working class ladies and
marry fresh graduate and others.
5 - Can you eat your cake and have it? Marriage is not bondage!
This
just makes it look like marriage is bondage! Well, that is left for the
men to overcome. A woman has no blame here. You cannot eat your cake and
have it, of course when you get married, your wife will want to know
where you are or why you are home late (I do not advise/encourage
nagging while at it though). if you have to hang out/go out, by all
means but do so with respect to your wife.
6. Career life n lies associated with it.
Marriage
is all about making sacrifices, no sane women will want her hubby to
lose his job, but he can be considerate enough to reduce the long hours
at work when there is no tight schedule and remember that he now has a
wife at home.
Make una talk true sha, is it really long hours in the office or time out with the boys etc…..?
7. Inlaw's expectation and traditional rites
This
can be managed, just let them know your budget and plead with them, I am
sure no parent want their child to remain unmarried.
8. Can you be trusted too?
Everyone
one way or another has had a bad experience, some almost lost their
lives in the process, but still find love. You cannot be heartbroken
forever. Do you trust yourself to be faithful to your wife? If yes,
then trust your instinct to lead you to a faithful woman. Trust me when I
say women have had it worse in this regard.
9. Will you allow people's experience stop you?
What
about the good marriage testimonies? People have died in plane crashes,
does it stop people from flying? (don't mean to sound insensitive) Trust
God, do your best, be real and truthful to your spouse and I am sure
everything will work out for your good. Most men are afraid to trust
because they can't imagine their wives doing what they do.
10. Does tribe matter? Is it a factor?
A
personal decision whether to marry within your culture or outside, but I
still don’t see how that is a problem or why it should make men run
away from marriage.
Unemployment
is an evil both men and woman face, it’s not one sided. For what its
worth, men should really stop all this women are not wife material talk
especially when they are not husband material.
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