Being an extrovert with a hot temper I find it difficult to deal with
introverted people. A few years ago I was dating a very shy man and our
relationship collapsed because I couldn’t meet his basic needs and I
couldn’t understand fundamental things about being an introvert. Most
people, and I was no exception, credit numerous stereotypes about
introverts. Yes, they are reserved, sometimes strange and hard to
understand, but they are people as well. Moreover, dating an introverted
man can have many advantages. So, what should you remember when dating
someone who’s more withdrawn than you? Here are 7 essential tips for
dating an introvert.
1. Silence isn’t a sign of estrangement
A different style of communication is the most striking and
significant thing about dating an introverted man. My boyfriend kept
silent most of the time; thus I had to carry on most of the
conversation, which was tiresome at times. When your man isn’t asking
you questions or isn’t joking, most probably he’s not interested in you
as a woman. With introverted men, it’s absolutely different. They talk
less, but whenever they say something it’s really important to them.
Introverts simply don’t waste time on silly talk.
2. Less violent conflicts
If you’re dating an introvert, you will rarely have severe conflicts
and fights. Introverts never act and speak rashly. They need a lot of
time to reflect on things; therefore their responds are deliberate.
Chances are you’ll forget about the argument, but your sweetheart can
start talking about it in several days. When you really want to settle a
conflict, adopt a patient behavior. An excessive pressure will only
lead to distrust and resentment.
3. Your social life will be different
Get ready that your spouse will never be the center of attention at a
party, during friend gatherings or a party with unknown people. In
fact, introverts don’t lack communication skills and they aren’t
anti-social; they just need less time socializing. You should also be
ready to spend a great amount of time at home watching films or reading.
Spontaneous and unplanned events are highly stressful and unwelcome for
introverted people. You won’t go out every day, but if your leisure
time is properly planned, your guy will be more confident and
comfortable.
4. Introvert can’t be converted into extrovert
This is the most common mistake most people make when dealing with
introverts. You can’t change their temperament and it’s no use
struggling with their personality. Being pushy is indeed the worst
strategy you can choose. You won’t stir up your partner by asking him
thousand questions or telling jokes. Most probably your man will retreat
to save his sanity. You shouldn’t urge your partner to do anything or
embarrass him, especially in public. It’s very hard to change yourself
and it’s almost impossible to change another person. Remember it.
5. They need more me time
It always made me frustrated, but I couldn’t accept this aspect of
our relationship. It doesn’t mean I wanted to spend every second with
him, but I suffer when I feel lack of attention. Introverts need more
time to recharge their strength and energy. Stillness and solitude are
essential things they will always need. Thus, don’t minimize the
importance of me time and try not to take it personally. If you aren’t
able to adjust to this need, your relationship would be rather
disastrous.
6. Honesty is a huge plus of being an introvert
A great advantage of dating an introvert is that your man will always
be honest with you about his feelings and thoughts. Introverts focus
their attention on people they are interested in. While extroverts are
often superficial and pretended, introverted people say and do exactly
what they mean. Don’t be afraid that you partner is a player or that he
might be cheating on you. If you’re dating an introvert, you can be sure
you’re the only one in his life. Moreover, introverts tend to stay in
long-lasting relationships since they’re very picky when choosing a
girlfriend.
7. You should show tolerance and indulgence
Sometimes it’s awfully hard to accept his strangeness and those
special needs. It feels difficult to get along with an introvert when
you have totally different desires. You want to go to a party, while he
tends to stay at home. Or, you’re overflowed with emotions and your
partner just can’t take it. An introvert will never belong to you 100
percent. Introverts seem moody at times because they are utterly
introspective and sensitive to their feelings. You should give them a
lot of time to process. Remember that a compromise is a pledge of any
healthy and long-lasting relationship. Try to understand that your
introverted man also makes efforts to handle your relationship, even if
you don’t notice that.
It’s up to you to make your extrovert-introvert relationship
comfortable and satisfying. Like any other relationships, it requires
great work, common efforts and compromise. Just a little understanding
and sacrifice will help your relationship flourish and work out.
Remember that love is about accepting but not changing a person. Have
you ever dated an introverted man or girl?
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